just the word itself....sucks....

super sian...

my pregnancy was really ok until the last few weeks......birth was a breeze (because of epidural)....confinement?...SUCKS.

totally dislike it...first few days after birth was bad...stitches painful...breastfeeding painful...cant move much..cant bathe....having post birth bleeding which they say will last to at least a month!...still fat...and ugly...

coupled by hot weather...irregular sleeping hours due to breastfeeding....same type of food everyday...no cold drinks or food...no plain water....post natal blues...

however now stitches are more or less healed...more mobile...finally got to bathe...can sleep better.....breastfeeding got used to the technique so not so painful...lost 5 kg unintentionally (they say its because of breastfeeding) but still got 9 kg more to go to my original weight...

unfortunately i am still....cant think of a better word and for the lack of vocabulary...SIAN!

i am going out next sunday to church...and lunch...and maybe walk around abit.......I DONT CARE if its not even one full month...

who set the rules on CONFINEMENT ANYWAY?!!!

i was told not to watch tv, read, use the computer for fear of my weak body that my eyesight will deteriorate.....but obviously....I didnt heed that advice...if i did, you will probably find me in the "Hougang Chalet" right about now.

but i didnt drink or eat cold stuff, and I didnt bathe........okay... so far ONLY 3 times since birth and out of the 3, only 2 times did I wash my hair......in replacement I wipe myself regularly with a damp warm cloth ....

and i ate all the nutritious confinement food obediently....so far not too bad...somehow homecooked food is still better than outside food....but i dont want to come to that day where i will puke at the sight of chicken soup...

and i did rest...which is all i ever do anyway...

ok now...when will all these be over and i can sink my teeth into a bowl of ice-cream and drink my frappacino and go SHOPPING and swimming and hit the gym and sauna..

i would think........not until at least for another few more weeks....

actually....my MIL didnt really enforce anything...and my mum is like safely tucked away in the other side of Singapore...and darling said that i can do anything i want....just a guilty nagging feeling everytime if i adjust the fan to my face (very hot OKAY) or if i feel the urge to bathe...its like i can hear my mum's voice saying "bu ting lao ren yuan, chi kui zai yan qian"

maybe i am just confined to my own rules....probably alot of women going through PBC also feel the same way.....its like better to be safe than sorry....we complain yet dont really have the guts to go against the unofficial rules of PBC.....yeah there are some brave women out there who did and are perfectly alright i guess....right now i just feel like the bird in the cage...i want to BREAK FREE!