when you are very upset and down, life still goes on.

you can sit there and cry your eyes out, but things still needs to be done.

i was very upset after something that happened today, i went back to my cubicle and started crying, phone rang, i picked it up and tried to talk in my most calm and collected voice, answered the question, followed-up, put down the phone, thought about the sad stuff and started crying again.

hp rang, friend called, made some arrangments, put down the phone, thought and cried again.

msn blinks, talked to my friend, half crying, half laughing at comments hurled at my sickening boss, complained, got some encouragment, thought to myself and cried again.

phone rang again, picked up the phone, deputy director wanted to see me, went upstairs, talked to her, settled some stuff, came down, thought about the sad stuff and cried again.

changed my msn nick to reflect my emotions, friends asked if i was ok, said I was not, dropped an email to my colleague, sat there and cried again.

friends asked me to be happy for baby, felt like such a lousy mother, keep crying when i am pregnant, sat there and cried again.

admist all these, life still goes on. even as I am typing this, tears are still flowing down my face. asked God to be with me, can imagine Him watching over me, but emotions still keep coming, sat there and cried again.

hp rang again, bro called to arrange bd celebration for mummy, put down the phone, and cried again.

i wan to leave, but i dont want darling to have extra burden, i know if i were to say anything, he will say go ahead, he will support me but i know future times will be tight if i were to leave now. friends keep telling me to hang on...at least after maternity, take my bonus and my deserved maternity leave..then quit.

colleague noticed something not right, came over my cubicle, talked to me, hugged me and I cried again.

i have been crying and stopping to do work, stopping to do work and crying for 3 hours already.

my deputy director came down to talk to me for while, he left, i am still upset, tears still there.

darling going to pick me up at 6pm, know that when i see him and talked to him, i will start crying again.

I know God is there for me, and He wants me to learn something through the trials. Probably something I havent quite got it right yet.

But one thing i know, no matter how sad you are, and you can cry your eyes out, life still goes on. you still have to eat, you still have to work for money to support yourself or family or future, you cant just sit there and dwell in yr unhappiness and not do anything.

life still goes on.