Here's the latest update of baby's growth. On the left is the side view, on the right is the front view of the baby. :) Still dont know the gender yet. Prob by the end of this month we'll know.

Been quite a while since I last updated the blog. Guess blogging took a rest with my work. I was on leave from 18 Dec onwards, just came back to work today. Went to Indonesia on the 17 Dec and came back on the 26 Dec then went for the Young Adults Camp on the 27 Dec till the 29 Dec. After which was New Year's and Hari Raya's hols until now. Really didnt feel like coming to work but had no choice..sounds familiar? I wonder who actually looked forward to work today...hmm..

Looking back at the past year, even though there were some low periods, I must say that 2006 was indeed a better year compared to other years I had. With the promotion, wedding and pregnancy, there were certianly quite a few highlights. I really hope that 2007 will be a good year also with the arrival of the little one. :)

I guess my periods of lows in year 2006 were always about the same problem: work. Be it the relationships with people, management or culture. They are all work or rather OAR-related. I find it difficult to be a good Christian in my workplace. As hard as I tried to, anger or resentment always get the better of me. So much so, I tend to retreat to my little cubicle and shut myself from the world outside. I guessed that if I communicated less or heard less or avoided people who irritates me, I would sin less. Just do what I am supposed to do and get out by 6pm. Well...the devil has his own ways of getting into you.

I am not as cheerful as I used to be, as trusting as I used to be, as positive as I used to be, as energetic as I used to be when I first came to OAR 3 years ago. I know its time for a change when things are not working out for me and I have given up on this place. It gets really frustrating when the problems that you are facing, there is nothing much you can do about it. For example, management issues and office culture. My office has the reputation of a high turnover rate. It is no wonder that people have been leaving this office for mostly about the same reasons. It is sad that I didnt realise it earlier and keep thinking there is hope or things will change. How ignorant I was.

The more the management puts people down because of mistakes or whatever things they did, the more people feel demoralised the more people want to leave. It is with deep regrets that they failed to recognise that and choose to believe it is not their fault that people leave. It is really an issue of poor managemennt and leadership. Only with encouragement and motivation that people will choose to work harder for the company, or feel committed to office. Unfortunately this isnt the case here. There is no sense of committment or passion for the office. Once people see it is not working for them, they might as well leave. I am one of those who think I can make a difference. I was wrong. One person cant do much. It takes a lot of people and effort and these have to largely contributed by people of higher management. Unfortunately this will never happen. Coz all the good people have left or are going to leave. Nobody feels committed to stay. I voiced out my opinions before, just when I thought things are changing for the better, over time, things went back to where it started. Nothing much as changed in the end. I just hoped that in my little position, I had made a difference in somebody's life here. If not, all my efforts are all in vain.

As much as I would like to throw in the resignation letter, I still need to consider the baby inside. I really hope to get a better job elsewhere after maternity leave. This is one of my new year resolutions for 2007: to have a change of jobs by year end.

All in all, I dont like to dwell in my unhappiness instead always to focus on the blessings that I have. With a good husband, family, loved ones and friends, I am always thankful to God for placing these people into my life. I know He is there for me coz He is present in each and everyone of my loved ones around me. I know God put me in my office for a reason, and I have indeed learnt alot of things about myself and the real world out there. I am thankful for all the trials and tribulations that come my way. I am still growing and learning to handle situations better. When you see me upset or read about my unhappiness and the next moment see me cheerful again, its not because I am putting on a false front, its because I am really trying to focus on my blessings and be happy coz there are thousands of people worse off than me out there, and I should really count my blessings. It is not that bad as I make it out to be. :)