Sometimes I wish life would just stand still, just stop for a moment. Everyone is rushing everyday, doing this doing that. Everything is like a mad rush. So many things happening at a time, so many things to think about but we just dont have the time to sit back and relax and just think. Or maybe there WAS time, just that I didnt make time to do so. Haii...want to take leave but scared that leave days are not enough to last till end of the year. Want to just sit there and stoned but so many things clouding my mind, so many things to do. Why cant life be just simpler? But if life were that simple, then we will be complacent, then there will be no real joy or sorrow. Will we be able to appreciate and enjoy our off-days or our holidays then? So to really compare between the two, I still wont know which life to choose. But I really wish that my life was simpler...mine seems so dramatic like those you see in cantonese drama serials. Really. I could write a book or rather a drama serial script out of it and it may just be a hit tv series. However comparing my life to those of movie stars and celebrities, actually, mine is just plain boring. Heh.

I just feel like taking time off to complain. Got a list of things to do (as usual, the list is never empty) but I dont feel like doing it. I was thinking if we are not so concerned about what others think of us (kiasu-kiasi, must always win over others) or that not everything in the world needs $$ then probably we dont need to work so hard? We can just live the way we want to. Impossible. Everything needs money in this world. Food for survival, home for shelter, clothes for physical modesty. What doesnt need money? Love, friendship, kinship? But will that give us survival? Will that put food on our table? Yah sure we need it for emotional supplements but really, we still need the material goods. The bible says HOWEVER that God will provide us all these: do not worry over what to eat or what to wear or what to put upon yr feet.

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Matthew 6: 25-34.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labour or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

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I like the last part, "For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

So if we are followers of Christ, is it really that simple? Why do I doubt then? "Because you dont trust Me" That is what the Lord will say. Yah. Put my trust in the Lord that he will provide. But I still have that nagging feeling of wanting more but not getting it. Thus praying that life would be simpler so that other people will not be so kiasu-kiasi so that I will not feel that I dont have this or dont have that such that I wish life will be simple so that I wont want more. Maybe instead I should be praying more for myself? Like in my previous entry, what do you value in life? I have already declared that God is what I value most. So then, why am I still wanting to have things that people have? Searching after the material wants in life? I should be searching for God instead. I should concentrate on praying that I will not think that I would want this or want that. Worrying about this or that. That I should not yearn for all these but yearn for God. And that all temptations and distractions in life will not deter me away from Him and will not deter me from doing good. The world is worldly but I will not be worldly. I will not succumb to the worldly desires and that urge to always "win" others. Humility. Yes that is the word. I need that. I so need that.