If there ever is such a word, which I doubt so. Nevertheless I just added "angurt" into Da Babe's dictionary of words, which basically means...in the state of being angry and hurt at the same time.

Whats my problem? I am angurt. Why? I totally dislike the act of talking behind people's back, aka gossiping, especially when the words that come out of their mouth are things that will hurt the person involved if he/she is to hear about it. Dont come and tell me crap that you are just discussing concerns about that someone. If it is such a concern to YOU, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Like tell the person straight, of course in a loving and nice way, and try to help that someone change, if it is really a problem. Do it from the heart. If you are so-called discussing your concerns about that someone amongst yourselves but not doing anything about it then you are just plainly GOSSIPING.

Do not gossip for the bible tells us:

Proverbs 16:28
A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

Proverbs 18:8
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts.

Proverbs 20:19
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

Proverbs 26:20
Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.

Romans 1:29
They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,

1 Timothy 5:13
Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.

3 John 1:10
So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.

Think that says it all.

Gossips spreads, before you know it, the person involved will get to hear about it and he/she may feel angurt. Yes my friends, that is what happened to me today.

To all of you, before you ever think of saying something bad or hurtful about someone, aka judging someone, something we do almost everyday, think again.

Matthew 7
Judging Others
1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

I am not perfect, no one is. Are you? You are not.

Jesus tells us to examine our own motives and conduct instead of judging others. The traits that bother us in others are often the habits we dislike in ourselves. Our untamed bad habits and behaviour patterns are the very ones that we most want to change in others. Do you find it easy to magnify others' faults while excusing your own? If you are ready to criticize someone, check to see if you deserve the same criticism. Judge yourself first and then lovingly forgive and help your neighbour. Jesus's statement "Do not judge" is against the kind of hypocritical, judgemental attitude that tears others down in order to build oneself up. It is not a blanket statement against all critical thinking, but a call to be discerning rather than negative.

Back to me. You know what is most hurting? That I heard all the hurting stuff not from strangers but from friends. Yea that is what hurts me most. If you got something to say about me just tell me. I am frank. Maybe you are not, but I think you can start to be, frank. Especially with me. I appreciate honesty and truthfulness. I dislike fakeness and hypocrisy.

You can read me like a book. Happy or sad, my face says it all. If you prob think I am upset with you for something, you are probably right.

These things have happened to me so many times when I was in an all girl's school, in JC, in University and especially in the work force. It is more prevalent especially in a female saturated environment. Admit it, we tend to gossip more than men. Which means I am also guilty as charged.

My supportive friends have always tell me not to take to heart what other people say. And for countless times, I have promoted the song "Cant take that away from me" by Mariah Carey. There is however, a fine line between, listening, reflecting but not hurting to just being stubborn. I dont know right now where I stand but I know for sure, I understand where the gossips are coming from and will take note and reflect but in some cases, I would just like to say "LIKE I CARE, you are probably just jealous. So there!" This is me. If you dont like it, stay away. If you dont like what you are reading just close the browser.

With all that said and done, my angurt has subsided. What has probably taken days for me to recover before has now taken me about 2 hrs to reflect and pen all these down. All because of God's word and the angel he sent me in the form of my darling.

He said to me "I know you are angry but let me share with you something that is very useful and that has helped me all the time. Coming from James 1."

Listening and Doing
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

The chapter is closed. I dont want to talk about it anymore. If I am still talking to you after venting my dislike about probably something you did. Never ever think that I am being hypocritcal. It is because I have let go and move on. I want to be nice really. So dont push me. I dont want to be quick to judge coz no one is perfect. I'll leave it at that.